|Your standard rice cooker|
|Measure how much rice you need. This is really dependent on how many people will be eating and if you will be having any for leftovers. Two cups is PLENTY for Farley, the little expats, myself, and a small amount of leftovers.|
|Rinse the rice until the water runs clear. You need to remove the starch, or the rice will clump together.|
|I like to season my rice with salt and minced garlic. I just add a small amount to the rice and water and taste until it's salty, but not overpowering. Then I add maybe two or three tablespoons of oil to the water.|
|Insert rice pot into rice cooker.|
|Close the lid - thank god I told you that. Last step is to press down that white button on the front. The light will turn from green to red and when it's green again, POOF, the rice is done.|
Beans are very easy. Add a bag of dry beans to a pressure cooker, checking for pebbles, corn, etc. Rinse and fill with about three time as much water as there are beans. Heat on med-high to high heat depending on your stovetop for about an hour.
When they've cooled (good god wait until they've cooled. I was impatient once and jimmied the pressure cooker open - beans fucking everywhere.), I like to portion the beans out and freeze to be pulled out in the morning.
To serve, I boil the beans with a teaspoon of oil, a packet of Sazon flavoring, and salt to taste. I like to smash the beans up in the bottom of the pot to make the liquid thicker, but that's preference.
|Do you like the smell of farts? Baby, I'm going to destroy your house.|
Bonus: Linguica aka Sausage
It took me an embarrassingly long amount of time to learn how to properly cook sausage. Did y'all know that you should poke holes in the casing and boil it before frying it? Now you do. We cook sausage a lot because it's cheap, quick, and the kids like it. Boil, fry, eat.
Extra extra bonus: there is construction going on next door (there is always construction going on in Brazil) and the workers are neighing like horses and crying like babies in between laughing. I thought you might like to know.